Here I am! Send me. Is 6,1-8read more
José Evilázio Vieira, 71 years old, Lizard / SE
For almost 20 years I was responsible for the Lizard Farm / SE. In 2009, because of my performance as a teacher and psychoanalyst, my family was invited to live in Guaratinguetá / SP, to assist in the formation of the host of the Farm.
On 13 March 2017, in the morning, returning home from a service, I had a drop in my sugar rate, overturned the car and found myself without any movement. There began a new and beautiful experience, according to God's will.
Of course, God's will for me is beyond overturning, but it expresses itself in a greater relationship with Him, in the call for an experience of hope and wonderful discoveries. I can say that this time that I live in the wheelchair is a fruitful time, of deep experiences and discoveries of how much I am loved by God. There are points that define this experience that I do as a watershed. One was when we took the exam.
The doctor said I had no chance of surviving, because of the seven neck vertebrae in the cervicals, I damaged five, that is, only two, the first and the second, were intact. My wife's first message was for her to prepare to be widowed. Three days after the accident, the first operation was performed and a doctor friend who came to visit me realized that the operation did not end there with that first intervention, but would need a second to treat three more vertebrae. This doctor, when faced with the situation, again said that my chance of survival was 1%. It was the beginning of a new life, an option of trust, of relationship. A much deeper option to live the will of God and to put myself definitely in the present moment. And I noticed that clearly on the ICU bed.
What comforted me a lot was the expression of Aparecida Archbishop Dom Orlando Brandes. He said that Pope John XXIII had as a personal mission the sick who were in hospitals, saying that the bed is the altar of the sick, a living host for the missions. I confess that I felt this living host for the missions!
Coincidentally, Friar Hans left for Europe with 40 young missionaries. I felt deep within that mission, saw how alive and active I was in bringing hope to the world. A situation that delighted me greatly was a child who, after attending Mass in Germany, gave Friar Hans his allowance to help build a house adapted to my needs as a quadriplegic. I received every welcome from a people at such a great and divine moment. How many fruits!
I do not know what I have to give, but what comes to my soul is that I have neither gold nor silver, but the enormous desire to surrender my suffering for the sake of the cause. I know how deep it is, because He does it. It is not beautiful speech. This is over! But it is human frailty in the service of something that only He knows. The discovery of love that I have is inexplicable, and this love feeds a deep hope of bringing to the world the comfort of those who also need this presence of God. In my bed, God probes me, whether awake or sleeping, it doesn't matter. He wants me and loves me infinitely!